Mother's Day

I have mixed emotions about Mother's Day.

On one hand I don't care for Mother's Day.  It's another holiday made up by Hallmark to sell cards.  Another day to remind me that so many women my age have a mom out there that loves them, supports them and is their friend.  Another day to remind me that I don't have that relationship.
Even before our relationship fell apart it was strained, I couldn't be myself around her.  I felt like I was constantly trying to earn her love and to make sure I didn't lose it.
I wonder if our relationship was ever real sometimes.

Yet on the other hand I'm a momma to a beautiful and sweet baby girl that I love more than life itself.  And Mother's Day to me means celebrating that little girl that has made me a momma.

I never want Belle to question if I love her...I never want her to think she has to earn my love or that she could ever lose it.  I want her to see me apologize, and know that even momma isn't perfect and that that is why we need Jesus.  I want her to have the relationship with me that I don't have (maybe never had).  That is my prayer this Mother's Day.