My scar...2 months out of surgery For a moment today I forgot I had a pacemaker... and then I felt my heart beat kinda funny and I remembered.
It doesn't hurt at all but I can feel the beats are funny when the pacemaker pops in to motion for my heart. I can't really describe it other than...if you have ever felt your heart miss a beat, thats kinda what it feels like, only mine doesn't miss it, it has something else to beat for it.
Right now I'm sorta in the stage where everytime I feel it I'm reminded that if not for it, I wouldn't be here. It's weird...very weird to think that if not for this thing I wouldn't be here right at that moment when my heart beats funny.
My heart stopped in the hospital for 23 seconds, I awoke to nurses with paddles over me, if I hadn't of gotten the pacemaker when I did the next time my heart may have decided to stop for longer...which deprives my brain of oxygen... and maybe the next time it wouldn't have restarted itself...yeah I know scary.
There is a reason I am here.... I know that now, if there wasn't I wouldn't be.
Don't think I saw the white light when my heart stopped (thats what Drew asked me a couple weeks ago...if I saw a great white light like the movies say you do when your heart stops)
So why am I here? I dont have a clue, but God knows, because he moved me to the best cardiac doctors in the midwest(to Springfield IL) just last June so I know there a reason for everything...
"My flesh and heart may fail but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever" Psalm 73:26
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